Author: amberhj

Hope in a bottle

Posted on by amberhj

Okay.

Some days, the bottle looms so large that it casts a shadow over everything–but only because I let it. Because I’m so very, very tired and incredibly discouraged and wishing to the point of physical aching that Stella would just eat.

I mean, can you imagine if someone begged you, on their hands and knees, to eat tons more than you actually do? Wouldn’t you lose your mind due to the sheer abundance of joy and calories? What’s so crazy about all this is that there was a time years ago when I went to really unhealthy lengths to stay thin. Not anymore. But nwo I have a daughter who at four months won’t willingly eat enough. It’s circular and messed up and if I think about it too hard my brain hurts.

We had a bit of a tough day. Well, to be more accurate, I had a tough day. Stella was fine. She wasn’t enthused about eating. But she slept a lot, had fun with mommy and a bunch of new toys from her aunties, went for a walk, and just generally had a grand old time.  Really, she was fine, even though her tube came out again. Ugh. I’d like to point out that she doesn’t yank it out on purpose. She has a habit of grasping whatever is near her, and guess what? Her tube is always near her and if you take your eye off her for .2 seconds, she’ll grab it and flail her arms in her usual fashion except this time, because the tube happens to be in her chubby, cute, scrumptious-looking little paw, the tube comes flying out, the tape is torn from her face and my stomach drops to the floor with a loud thud. It’s happened way too many times, so upon seeing her waving the end of the tube around, the end that is supposed to be inside her tummy and not flapping around in the air, I resolved to NEVER let it happen again. It’s torture to put back in, and Cody and I fear that it exacerbates her reluctance to eat due to the irritation it causes to her throat. So, I hereby declare that the excess length of tube will now always be shoved down her onesie/outfit when not in use. I will  secure the bit that extends from the “tape” (Replicare underneath the tube with Tegaderm on top) behind her ear. I will watch her with even  more hawk-like intensity, removing the tube from her stunningly strong baby grip as soon as she snags it. So that’s settled anyway. Stressful, but settled.

In related news, Cody and I started going to a couples counselor. Being a new parent is really stressful. And being a new parent of a child with an NG tube is, I am pretty sure, even more stressful. And conflict inevitably arises. And it helps to have an objective, educated, helpful and kind third party to help work things out before they blow up in our faces. We believe that maintaining a strong relationship between is as important to Stella as solving her eating issue. Really. Our energy, the way we treat each other, the way we deal with conflict and stress, it all gets fed to Stella just like her $43-per-can hypoallergenic formula. It’s an eye-opening experience that really just boils down to us both learning how to deal with stress in healthier, more compatible ways. I am learning to not take my frustration out on Cody. And Cody is learning to not withdraw from me. We realized in our first appointment that “The Tube” has become an entity unto itself. It is the focus of a lot of attention and fear. We talk about “The Tube” like it’s Darth Vader, tempting us to the dark side. Well, I do anyway, and I’m working on letting all that go, which can only be good for all of us.

So, after her Obama-like, hope-filled weekend of feeding pr0gress, she’s had a downturn. There are some clogged nipples to blame, as the thickener we use in her bottles requires intense emulsification efforts–involving whisks, shaking, large containers and gourmet chefs–to blend properly or else little blobs of the goo will block the flow from the nipple. There are also ripped nipples and impatient moms (me) to blame. In an effort to clear out and prevent clogging, I aggressively cleaned those problematic bottle nipples with a tiny little Dr. Brown’s bottle brush and, without realizing it, tore the holes wide open so that formula gushed out at a pace that probably traumatized Stella. I felt horrible upon realizing what I’d done.

But in spite of everything, tonight at 9pm, after a discouraging day of what seemed like feeding regression and a blunderful gmail video chat attempt with my family back east, Stella downed a whole bottle in five minutes. If we’d had champagne on hand, I’d have popped that cork in a second and sprayed the alcoholic fizz all over Cody and Stella as if we’d just won the Superbowl. But we didn’t have any bubbly available, so we danced to The Kinks’ “Picture Book” again and ate Boston Baked Brownie Cake. I couldn’t imagine a better Christmas eve, really. I hope yours was just as good.

Stella rolls on.

Posted on by amberhj

I should know better by now. With Stella and her feeding issues, the answers are never simple. There are no clean, black-and-white solutions to this layered, messy challenge. The clogged nipple seems to have been only part of the issue. The fact of the matter is, Stella is doing well, but as her occupational therapist reminded me today over the phone, Stella’s road to recovery is not a ramp. It’s more like a staircase. She’ll leap forward, then stall or regress a bit, then progress again, and so on. I needed the reminder, and regained a sense of peace after hearing it.

The “messiness” of the feeding issue spills over into other areas a bit. Because of her reflux and because we fill her belly at night during her slumber, she sleeps in a wedge made for just her by one of the OT/PT therapists at Seattle Children’s Hospital. This means that her movement is restricted, which could affect her mobility and development. So, we spend extra time working on rolling and do tummy time in short stints several times a day. Today, Stella’s hard work paid off! She rolled from her back to her tummy three times! We were thrillled to see this. On her ten-week birthday, she rolled from her belly to her back for the first time, and proceeded to do it every time we placed her on her tummy, but as her feeding issue worsened, she did it less and less. Then, around the time of her hospital stay, she stopped. For that reason, today’s acrobatics were heartening. This milestone gave us all a little boost.

And speaking of needing a boost, Stella accompanied me to my therapy session today, and was very content to just let me hold her as I talked. I go because I’ve been struggling with postpartum depression and anxiety, and through the Community Birth and Family Center, I found an absolutely wonderful therapist who has helped me cope.

I’m doing much, much better now. I think back to the days when Stella wasn’t eating or gaining weight as she should, when I had no idea why and no clue how to help her, and I feel such compassion for that new mom who, in trying so hard to take care of her struggling baby, was losing her grip on her own wellbeing. I’m proud of my efforts, because I knew something was wrong, and despite any dissenting or skeptical voices (“Oh, you’re overreacting” or “She seems fine to me”), I trusted my instincts and kept pushing for answers. With help from Cody, I prevented Stella from losing weight. Stella and I were constantly at the doctor’s office, and every week, the scale showed that she’d gained weight, even if it was just two ounces. But I didn’t take care of myself, which sent me plunging in a downward spiral and was not beneficial to Stella, even though all I wanted to do was help her.

Despite the continuing rollercoaster of emotions, the ups and downs of Stella’s feeding progress, the stress level in our home is so much lower these days. Last night, Stella and I danced to The Kinks’ “Picture Book” in front of the Christmas tree while Cody strummed along on his guitar. We go for one or two long walks each day, and we really enjoy it. When Stella’s problems peaked, when she wasn’t getting enough to eat and was in pain, I couldn’t take her anywhere because so much time was spent just trying to get her to eat, and in between, she was hungry, agitated, couldn’t nap, and would cry whenever I put her in the carrier or stroller. Now she loves the carrier and can fall asleep in her car seat. We laugh a lot. We can now just “be” together. It’s wonderful.

Sometimes, I forget how far Stella and I have come. But when I look back, it’s easy to appreciate where we are now. If this were a movie, we’d be way past the part where the hero hits rock bottom and wants to throw in the proverbial towel. We’d be well into the montage where determination builds in each subsequent shot–punching slabs of meat, drinking raw eggs, jogging through Philadelphia and doing one-handed push-ups. Stella’s story is a comeback in the making. And who doesn’t love a comeback?

Daddy saves the day!

Posted on by amberhj

It was a curious morning. Stella was happy as could be. She wanted to eat and took right to the bottle. She started with such gusto! Then, would barely suck at all, doing the short, unenthusiastic sucks we referred to as “fake nursing” back in Stella’s breastfeeding days. It made no sense.

During her evening feeding, my arm was killing me from holding her for so long. And I’d had it! She was barely eating anything, and I had no idea why. Emotionally and physically drained, I stopped the feeding, handed Stella to Cody and went to walk (and cry) in the snow. I just had to get away.

I called my friend Kari, who is always such a comfort. It didn’t take long before I was a bit calmer, and a lot colder! So I headed home, expecting to see Cody sitting by Stella, running the pump to give her the bulk of her feeding through the tube.

I walked in to see Stella resting peacefully in Cody’s arms, finishing off a bottle. Framed by the kitchen doorway, it was a scene that melted my heart. I cried again, of course, but this time from relief, gratitude and sheer, unabated happiness. Later, he gave her the last bottle of the day, and she finished it as well.

It turns out that the nipple was clogged. Cody, using that handy engineer brain of his, figured it out. Puzzled by her behavior, he stopped feeding her and shook the bottle. Nothing came out. He replaced the nipple with a new, clean one, and tried again, and she drank it down. Honestly, I never would’ve figured that out. I couldn’t distance myself enough to think through it clearly. Plus, as they say in Boston, Cody’s “wicked smaht.”

So, Daddy is a hero tonight. Stella, too! I’m in awe of both of them, and feeling extraordinarily lucky.

“We’re gonna need a bigger bottle.”

Posted on by amberhj

I said that this afternoon, when Stella finished a bottle and was sucking on the empty nipple. We were flying so high. (I apologize in advance for a less than sparkling post. I’m very tired and a bit grumpy, and lack the patience required for halfway decent writing, something I really care about and aspire to provide.)

This weekend. Stella took bottle after bottle–sometimes not finishing completely, but close enough. We weren’t even using the tube, except during the night feedings.

But then, a few hours ago, she pulled out her tube, even ripping the tape off of her cheek, leaving behind a pink patch. The feeding after that was a little rocky. She took 88 mls, still quite good, but during the feeding that followed, she was barely sucking and only took 20. To feed her, I still lightly swaddle her to keep her calm and stand up, with her in my right arm. After weeks of practice, I know how to use my hip to support a lot of her weight. But I often get a terrible pain in the pit of my stomach while feeding her. I don’t know if I’m developing an ulcer or it’s simply a matter of still having an unhealthy amount of hope and emotion and fear hinged on each feeding such that it affects me physically.

I’d let my hopes and expectations get so high that this setback (the 20-ml feeding) felt like a crushing blow. I jumped to the worst case scenario and wondered if the tube coming out was some kind of disastrous last straw that irritated her throat and erased her seemingly new and positive attitude toward eating. Cody urged me to step back and see it as the tiny blip it was. I’m actually embarrassed for getting so upset about it, given how incredibly well she is doing overall. Clearly, I still haven’t come to peace with the tube’s presence, as much as I try to accept it as the helpful and temporary tool it is. Then again, emotional raggedness and impatience comes with sleep deprivation and stress. I know that I need to be gentle and patient with Stella as she progresses at her own pace. And it just dawned on me that I need to treat myself the same way.

We just put the tube back in and as usual she was upset for a couple minutes, but settled down quickly. I can’t help but hope that this is the last tube. That we’ve put it back in for the last time. It’s quite possible. She has come so far. But we can’t rush this. She is where she is with feeding, and to fight that or be at odds with it is ridiculous and helps no one.

We took a walk in the snow tonight to show Stella some of the more dazzling Christmas light displays in our neighborhood, from decked out palm trees to a grand, electricity-hogging envisioning of Santa’s workshop. She was mesmerized.

During our stroll, we came across a sweet, sociable adolescent boy playing alone in the snow. His excited energy was in stark contrast to the tranquility of the dark, quiet, snow-filled streets. He encouraged us to make snow angels, informed us of the week’s weather forecast (more snow on Christmas eve? Awesome!), and told us how much fun he was having. I wanted to kidnap/adopt him. I’m not sure why, but as we went on our way, he wished us, “Good luck!” He had no idea how perfect a farewell that was.

Stella’s four-month shots made her a bit crankier than usual for a day or two. But, in the middle of a diaper change, she had her first bout of real laughter on Saturday and we captured some of it on video. Enjoy!

Stella is four months old.

Posted on by amberhj

Love at first sight.

Love at first sight. (Four days old.)

On Wednesday, December 17th, Stella turned four months old.

It’s absolutely stunning to think that she’s only been here for four months. How is it even possible to love a virtual stranger so deeply in so little time? How can your world change so drastically in a matter of mere weeks? How can so much drama, change, growth and wonderfulness unfold in just one third of one year?

Today, we went to Dr. Numrych’s office for her four-month “well child” check-up. Stella continues to amaze. Sure, she’s had some setbacks with eating due to her reflux and dairy intolerance, but developmentally, she’s right on track. She’s supporting her own weight when you stand her up and help her balance. She’s grasping and pulling things to her. She recognizes her parents from across the room (you can tell by the big smile). She babbles and laughs often–her signature sound is what Cody calls “motorboat noises” while I see it as a cross between cooing and purring. Basically, all of this and a few other skills make her one fabulous four-month-old.

Of course, at these check-ups, you get the line-up of baby stats. So here goes. She now weighs 14 pounds and 6 ounces, which puts her in the 75th percentile for chubbiness. She is 24.5 inches long or tall, depending on how you look at it, which places her squarely in the middle at the 50th percentile. Her head circumference of 43 centimeters means that her noggin is in the 90th percentile, which should come as no surprise. Cody and I have giant heads.

Big heads run in the family.

Big heads run in the family. (Two weeks old.)

A couple summers ago, I headed to a nearby bicycle shop on a simple, safety-conscious quest to buy a helmet. To my embarrassment and salesperson’s awkwardness, the largest women’s helmet was way too small. My head looked like an orange with a mushroom cap sitting on top of it, so I had to head to the men’s section. Cody just bought a one-size-fits-all wool cap from our favorite coffee shop, Fuel, and it doesn’t cover his ears, so it’s practically useless in this cold winter weather and just serves to squeeze the top of his head while emphasizing his cheeks. It kind of reminds me of when we put Stella’s Red Sox cap on for the first time–we really had to squeeze it on. In a most adorable fashion, the hat accentuated her chubby cheeks and left an indentation on her forehead. (Later, I stretched it out and it fit just fine, but it took some doing.)

I woke up at midnight, 3am and 6am to feed Stella last night–I did it one extra time because we’d fallen behind yesterday. Each feeding takes 40 minutes to complete. We woke up at 8am. So some quick math should tell you how braindead I am right now. But even in the midst of sleep deprivation delirium I can tell you that despite all the challenges, fear and exhaustion of the past four months,  I wouldn’t trade them for anything. Not even a blissful eight-hour stretch sleep on a magic mattress made of soft, billowy clouds.

Stella celebrates her four month birthday.

Stella celebrates her four month birthday.

This blog is supposed to be about Stella, but I can’t help but reflect on how the past four months have affected me. I’ve become expontentially stronger and a lot more vulnerable at the same time. I’ve cried and laughed more in these four months than in the rest of my 31 years combined. I’m more tired than ever, but also more alive. I’ve lost my mind while becoming more responsible. I’m a different person, but more fully myself. It’s insane. Insanely difficult! Yet it’s truly been the best time of my life. Stella has brought me more joy than I ever could’ve imagined. And we’re just getting started.

The question I keep asking Cody is, “How did we get so lucky?”

The latest trend in bottle feeding.

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Wanted to make a quick note about Stella’s feeding progress. We only fit in four bottles today (in addition to her two pumped feedings at night) because she napped so much that it put us “behind.” The good news is that she took 100+ mls from two bottles. This has been happening more lately, so I thought I’d analyze her intake in a new way, with a new chart. Instead of just looking at the total she takes by pump/gravity and the total she takes by bottle each day, I plotted the average amount she takes each time we offer a bottle to her. It doesn’t account for other indicators of success, like how relaxed or receptive she is, but it helps me see more clearly how much she is taking at each bottle feeding. My previous way of charting the data lumped each day’s intake together and didn’t really account for differences in the number of bottles offered per day.

What I found was encouraging. This number–the average amount she takes per bottle offered–is trending upward. On average, she now takes about 80 mls from the bottle each time we offer it to her. The total amount we need her to take is 115. I have some ideas on how to help her get there.

For instance, once in a while, she really gets on a roll, takes a whole bottle and winds up sucking on an empty nipple. Occasionally she gets to  around 100 mls and stops–and I wonder if it’s because the flow is slower with less in the bottle. So, I’m going to get a bigger bottle to keep the flow going longer and to have more formula available for times when she wants to take more than 115 (the bottles we use only hold about 120). It’s a way of letting her drive her intake to a greater degree. If she takes less than 115 at one feeding, that’s fine so long as she takes more at another. I sure hope that made at least some sense and wasn’t too mindnumbingly boring.

Well, I’ve had enough of blogs and spreadsheets for one day. Good night, Cody. Good night, Stella. Good night, moon. Good night, Excel.

Meet Libby.

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Stella’s occupational therapist, Robin Glass, has fielded many a teary phone call from me. A great support to Stella and myself, she’s talked me through many tube-related worries and emotional upheavals. Knowing that I needed a boost, Robin connected me with a mom whose baby was similar to Stella in many ways. Due to the pain of reflux, this baby refused to eat, was hospitalized at Children’s, and had a tube–but not for long.

The baby’s name is Libby Norton. I called her mom, Trish, a couple weeks ago, on a day when I felt pretty scared and helpless. Trish was warm and wonderful as she candidly shared her story. She spoke about all the emotions she experienced as Libby “learned to eat.” Honestly, it was as if she had set up camp inside my head and was reading my mental diary aloud. It was so comforting to know that I wasn’t alone.

You can read Libby’s story at libbynorton.blogspot.com. Libby left the tube behind over a year ago. In fact, she is now a big sister to Sarah, who is fantastic eater–phew! Click here to read posts from that triumphant time.

Every time I get down, I remember that Libby pulled through. In her own time, Stella will, too.

Hold please.

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Stella finds her thumb.

Stella finds her thumb.

This was a day when we didn’t fall behind, or get ahead. For the most part, we were simply on hold. And that was okay. Stella did have a first, and she was delightful company as usual.

Stella’s first appointment, with our occupational therapist, was cancelled. I was not disappointed to miss it,  as we’ve been seeing progress and therefore want to continue with the strategies that are working. I received another cancellation call from Dr. Devorah’s office. The news that Stella’s cranial osteopathy appointment will need to be moved from tomorrow to next week left me feeling a bit crestfallen. My hope is that they will fit us in on Monday, or as soon as possible.

Her ultrasound appointment was not cancelled and went smoothly. Somewhat concerning to me was how well she handled several hours without eating–we were given strict instructions to ensure that she had an empty stomach. She’s definitely come along in the hunger department. Having self-limited her own intake for weeks, before the tube, she’d happily go for long stretches of time without eating (despite my best efforts). These days, she usually does get hungry every three to four hours. So I’m trying not to worry about it.

While in the Radiology waiting area at Children’s, a woman struck up a conversation with me. She remarked on Stella’s cuteness, and politely inquired about why Stella has a tube. I explained the whole situation, and she nodded knowingly. Her son had severe reflux that wasn’t treated until he was nine months old! He only weighed ten pounds at that age, and therefore required a tube for a long time. Another woman, sitting across the room, piped in, “That’s exactly what’s happening with my son!” He is four months old and his doctor only just recently diagnosed and began treating his reflux. She described the enormous struggle involved with feeding him, and it was as if she were telling Stella’s story. He was a lot smaller than Stella. He did not have a tube. Though I did wonder about how they were treating his aversion, I didn’t pry. We simply discussed our shared frustrations and took comfort in talking to someone who really “got it.” Both women said they were impressed with how healthy and big Stella looked, which made me feel great.

All in all, Stella did okay with the bottle today. Just okay. She ate with less enthusiasm. In fact, she seemed a bit bored, which made me wonder if I’d made the formula too thick and therefore too slow. On the bright side, she wasn’t upset about eating. She was relaxed. And she took about half a bottle while we were at Children’s–the most she’s taken away from home–even though she kept getting distracted by her surroundings. She stopped eating a couple of times, then continued, which is always encouraging. But her head swiveled as she ate and I had to move the bottle in an attempt to keep the feeding going. I could almost hear her thoughts unfolding one right after the other: “Whoa, what was that noise? Who’s that funny-looking guy? What’s that shiny thing in the corner? They call that a gift shop?”

While the ultrasound technician stepped out of the room, Stella did something with much enthusiasm, for the first time that I’ve seen. She sucked her thumb! That’s right. Stella has discovered her thumb and she loves it. Her Dad was a thumbsucker (if there was a hall of fame, he’d be in it) and it looks like she’ll be following in his footsteps. I captured this milestone on my cell phone camera. As happens so many times with Stella, I couldn’t stop smiling. Can’t wait to see what she does tomorrow.

Stella steps it up. Again.

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I’m thrilled to report that Stella finished TWO BOTTLES today. And her others were solid performances as well. She had a fantastic day all around. There is still much progress to be made, of course. But Stella seems to be getting her groove back. Day by day. Bottle by bottle. Milliliter by milliliter.

It’s tough to do, but Cody and I try not to focus too much on volume. Just as important, if not more so, is her comfort level and receptiveness to the bottle. If she befriends the bottle, volume will surely follow.

Today, for the most part, she did not fight the bottle. There is still a bit of turmoil within her, however. At the start of most of her feedings, she’d take to the bottle quickly when I offered it. Then, a second or two later, she’d pull away and fuss a bit. But there was something different about the fussiness. I realized that in some cases she was telling me that  she wanted the bottle back! Yes, she was a bit conflicted, but I could see that she wanted to eat. So I’d offer it to her again, and off she went. (Or I’d offer it to her again, she’d pull away again, want it back, and THEN she’d be on her way.) As I’ve stated before, there will be more ups and downs, but I think Stella is coming around.

Not loving the camera. Or the outfit.

Not loving the camera. Or the outfit.

I had a more than my share of belly laughs this afternoon, during Stella’s photo shoot for our holiday card. Her range of expressions is so broad! And if she doesn’t like something, she will let you know in no uncertain terms! As a proud new mom, I bought her a fancy, adorable Christmas outfit: a black and white dress, with matching embroidered sweater, black tights and mary janes. To top it off, I bought a red hat, for a splash of festive color. Well, I had her decked out in this “aw”-inducing get-up for all of five minutes before Stella threw a fashion fit! Even after I removed the sweater, which was probably a bit itchy, she was clearly uncomfortable, writhing around and crying like her tights were in fire. So, I gave up on the chic factor and took it all off except for the hat. Somehow, the pictures wound up being perfect. The simplicity really worked, and she was so much happier, which made it a lot easier to get card-worthy shots. Another valuable parenting lesson, perhaps? I learned to roll with the situation, even if it didn’t fit my idealized vision. The funny thing is that the photos, card, and experience turned out better as a result.

That's better! (An outtake from the holiday card photo shoot.)

That's better! (An outtake from the holiday card photo shoot.)

The hat also served to cover up her patchy ‘do. Stella and I are both losing our hair. The dark locks she was born with are quickly giving way to blond peach fuzz, while my postpartum shedding only serves to clog the shower drain. Our paths continue their parallel trajectory. Before long, we’ll both have huge appetites and bald heads.

Tomorrow, we have two appointments at Children’s–an abdominal ultrasound and occupational therapy. Not looking forward to the disruption to our schedule, as it throws off Stella’s napping and eating rhythm. But the appointments’ longer-term contributions to Stella’s overall progress are worth any short-term inconveniences or minor setbacks. Besides, she’s shown that she can bounce back! Amen to that.

Simply thick. But thankful.

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Stella is currently enjoying a concert by Daddy as I assess the day’s progress. Today’s bottle feeding went pretty well. Not on the same level as yesterday, but there was a major bright spot: she polished off an entire bottle at her last feeding!

A probable explanation for today’s dip in overall intake, besides the fact that we tried to feed her during an appointment (she usually seems too distracted to eat when we are in an unfamiliar place), is that we used our last packet of Simply Thick last night, having failed to order more in time. This lapse on our part was simply, well, thick. At first we were unconvinced of the effectiveness of thickening. But this weekend, we finally found a thickener-to-formula ratio and nipple combination that seemed to be working, then promptly ran out of thickener. This morning’s feedings were left “thin, “so not surprisingly, she didn’t take as much from those bottles. However, this afternoon our wonderful occupational therapist, Robin Glass, hooked us up with a couple packets to tide us over until our delivery arrives (which should be tomorrow). With the proper balance restored, Stella proceeded to down a full feeding of 115 mls in no time flat. 

The thickener doesn’t just make the formula easier to swallow. It also helps with Stella’s reflux as it’s heavier and doesn’t come back up as easily. Stella usually sounds pretty phlegmy due to her reflux–there’s a rattling in her throat. In the short time since we’ve thickened her feedings, Stella’s breathing sounds more clear, perhaps an indication that her reflux is being kept at bay.

I’m so used to having to set up a pump or gravity feed when she’s had enough of the bottle, I almost don’t know what to do with myself when she finishes one. But inevitably, I wind up dancing around the house with Stella in my arms. (I almost always put on Christmas music when I feed Stella these days, to keep the mood cheerful and mellow.)

Robin Glass isn’t the only person to whom we owe thanks. A few days ago, we found out that Stella’s formula costs $43 per 14-ounce can. In four weeks, we’d rung up a formula bill of close to $1,000! On top of that, insurance was refusing to cover the formula, pump, and various other feeding supplies that Stella currently requires. After Cody spoke with the insurance company, we’d pretty much given up and were about to apply (probably in vain) for financial aid from Seattle Children’s Home Care, from which we order Stella’s supplies every other week or so. At the same time, as back-up, we did some quick online research and discovered that Elecare is offered online by the manufacturer at a slightly better price.  However, to our amazement, a representative of Home Care named Skylar somehow convinced the insurance company to cover everything! We are so grateful and plan to send a little holiday gift Skylar’s way.

With no appointments tomorrow, Stella and I can take it easy and simply enjoy the day together. We’ll go for our walk, take care of some household chores (with Stella in her beloved Baby Bjorn), and hopefully do some dancing as well.