It occurred to me today that feeding Stella is like being on The Wheel of Fortune, a show that I’ve always loathed. As she’s eating, I’m basically thinking, “Big Money! Big Money!” When she’s done with the bottle, I look to see how much she’s eaten–200 mls or more is the equivalent of landing on $5,000 and 100 or below feels like the “Bankrupt.” Doesn’t help that she’s sick, which has crushed her appetite. And that we found out, during a recent doctor’s visit, that she’d gained very little weight in the past month. It’s enough to make my head spin. And hurt.

I keep telling myself, accurately, that babies gain weight in spurts, and she’ll surely have one when she’s feeling better.

In the meantime, I’d like to buy a vowel. And some Ibuprofen.