Feeling anxious. It keeps being said in the media and whatnot (on blogs, probably) that blogging is extremely narcissistic. I’m worried that I’m not measuring up because this blog is only somewhat narcissistic so far.

You see, I need to write about things in addition to vision therapy but I’ve been afraid to. So I apologize to my optometrist and vision therapist readers in advance.

Obviously, it doesn’t get much more “niche” than this blog. I may not reach too many people but some of the ones who do come here find stuff that is very, very directly helpful or interesting to them or their child. I need to figure out a way to organize the site into clear sections so my three different audiences of subscribers (of roughly ten people each whom I ADORE) can find the niches (great word) that they’re looking for. Or maybe I’ll keep Stella and motherhood stuff going here and start a new blog for other stuff. We’ll see. Deep breaths, everyone. It’s going to be okay.

The three current subject areas are broken down as follows:

1. our feeding tube weaning journey and associated learning (a ton of my traffic comes here for this)
2. strabismus, amblyopia and vision therapy experiences, information and associated amazing breakthroughs and fearful frustrations (more and more of my traffic is being generated by this)
3. random crap that I find interesting or amusing as a mom or writer or wife or human being (no one comes here for this stuff–even my humor is a niche)

I’ll try to figure out how to enable you to opt in only to posts about Stella’s eyes, or tube weaning (once in a while I still find tube weaning information and stories that I’d like to share here!), or random (entertaining, maybe, I hope?) crap. That way you won’t have to deal with the rest showing up in your inbox. Here’s a good example of something you may like to skip. I took it from my Facebook page but find it amusing enough to post here:

I am considering this summer dress for Stella, but the product copy is just too cute! I’m too busy rolling my eyes to make the purchase. Am I just jaded? Here it is: “A just-right cotton poplin dress like this one has magical properties, inviting colorful butterflies to land on her nose in between twirls. And after that, maybe a strawberry ice cream cone appears in her hand.” Yeah, and after that, maybe a unicorn craps cupcakes in our backyard.

I love Stella. And I want to continue to share the oh-my-god discoveries (like prism goggles, thanks to Dr. T) that have made such a difference–first for her gastrointestinal tract, and now for her eyeballs. But frankly, she’s really thriving and therefore is not giving me enough material. So I’d like to share other stories involving Stella, but not too many because I want to protect her privacy, and non-Stella-related topics. I don’t really know what to write about at this point or how to do it but I will get there, damn it! I’m a copywriter by trade but want to do other types of writing again (I’ve flirted with “real” writing before). I need to write! About stuff! That I care about! As a whole person! Though I don’t think I’ve been 100% “whole” since those two months when I had to give up cheese in 2008. A small part of me died due to deliciousness deprivation.

The last thing I write will be typed through awkwardly teary eyes. Thank you so much for reading my blog. We (and by that I mostly mean me/I) had some dark times amid the wonderful ones these last couple of years, and sometimes, just knowing that people were reading our story and relating to it or cheering us on or somehow benefiting or even laughing at my desperate attempts at humor–it saved me from really plummeting. This story could’ve gone a lot differently. And the comments. Oh my gawd the comments. Soul-soothing and life-affirming, just like cheese! I’m making a really ugly crying face right now. I wish you could see it so you’d know how much I mean this. Okay maybe not. Phew.

And with that I’m going to go collect a cupcake from our backyard. I ordered the dress from one of those anxiety-inducing daily deal sites–and it’s already working its magic.