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First off, I have to wonder, do all four-month-olds yell at their parents like pissed-off NYC taxi drivers in Manhattan rush-hour traffic? Stella's got a good set of lungs and/or pipes. And she uses them non-stop lately. Of course, five seconds after shouting with a furrowed brow, she's smiling. Then she's on the verge of… Continue reading 88

How will we play this hand?

In between feedings and worrying about feedings, I was flipping around the airwaves when I briefly paused on a news show. I caught the end of a remembrance montage that honored some of the incredible people we lost in 2008. Randy Pausch was one of them. If you haven't seen his famous "Last Lecture," I… Continue reading How will we play this hand?

Fear

Stella took a step back today. But I keep telling myself that it's okay. That it's to be expected. Just part of the process. And her total bottle intake today, on a decidedly so-so day, is higher than what we saw on an average day just a few weeks ago. Of course, we can't help but feel let down and look… Continue reading Fear

We set ’em up. Stella knocks ’em down.

Cody, Stella and I had a relaxing holiday weekend. I'm sad that it's over and that Cody will have to return to work tomorrow. He's been working a lot, which has been tough. Just having him around makes me feel better, and Stella loves it, too. When I get down, he helps pick me up,… Continue reading We set ’em up. Stella knocks ’em down.

Merry Christmas!

I thought Stella's holiday outfit made her look like a candy cane. Cody said it made her look like an escapee from Leprechaun Prison. Either way, she looked adorable. Sleepy after eating too much ham and sweet potato pie, it's time for us to hit the hay. Just wanted to wish everyone a very happy… Continue reading Merry Christmas!

Hope in a bottle

Okay. Some days, the bottle looms so large that it casts a shadow over everything--but only because I let it. Because I'm so very, very tired and incredibly discouraged and wishing to the point of physical aching that Stella would just eat. I mean, can you imagine if someone begged you, on their hands and knees, to eat tons… Continue reading Hope in a bottle

Daddy saves the day!

It was a curious morning. Stella was happy as could be. She wanted to eat and took right to the bottle. She started with such gusto! Then, would barely suck at all, doing the short, unenthusiastic sucks we referred to as "fake nursing" back in Stella's breastfeeding days. It made no sense. During her evening… Continue reading Daddy saves the day!

“We’re gonna need a bigger bottle.”

I said that this afternoon, when Stella finished a bottle and was sucking on the empty nipple. We were flying so high. (I apologize in advance for a less than sparkling post. I'm very tired and a bit grumpy, and lack the patience required for halfway decent writing, something I really care about and aspire… Continue reading “We’re gonna need a bigger bottle.”

Stella is four months old.

On Wednesday, December 17th, Stella turned four months old. It's absolutely stunning to think that she's only been here for four months. How is it even possible to love a virtual stranger so deeply in so little time? How can your world change so drastically in a matter of mere weeks? How can so much drama, change, growth… Continue reading Stella is four months old.