First off, I have to wonder, do all four-month-olds yell at their parents like pissed-off NYC taxi drivers in Manhattan rush-hour traffic? Stella’s got a good set of lungs and/or pipes. And she uses them non-stop lately. Of course, five seconds after shouting with a furrowed brow, she’s smiling. Then she’s on the verge of tears. The she’s hollering as if filling me in on her deeply held political opinions. Then laughing. And so on.

She averaged 88 mls per bottle today. That included one 130-ml bottle, and one 40-ml bottle. The latter came at 11pm, three hours after the amazing 130-ml performance. She was exhausted, screaming and just wanted to go to sleep. So it barely even counts in our minds. We just hope we didn’t push her too much. It’s such a delicate balance, knowing how far to push and when to let go and use the pump, and we still struggle with it at times.

If it weren’t for that last bottle, she would’ve averaged close to 100. She continues to progress. And this evening, we realized something about her progress. I did a quick scan of the spreadsheet, looking at weekends and holidays, and my suspicion was confirmed: Most of her best days happen when Cody is home, even if I do most of the feedings. His presence makes me feel better–more calm and secure. Therefore, I see the numbers as proof that our attitude and energy directly influence Stella’s eating.  While my mental state doesn’t drive her intake completely, it clearly has an impact. I thought I knew this already. But somewhere deep down, I guess I didn’t fully buy into it. Well, there’s really no denying it now.

So, I still need to take better care of myself. Eat more, rest more, be around people more, do things I enjoy, etc., so that when Cody’s not around, I’m feeling strong and calm. What’s good for me is good for Stella. So bring on the champagne, massages and new shoes! Okay, and maybe yoga, exercise, healthy, hearty meals and time with my fabulous friends.

On that note, I wish you an early “Happy New Year!”