Knowing when to worry, and when not to

When I was an infant, I had to wear booties attached by a bar. The goal was to straighten out my legs. It worked, but my legs are a bit S-shaped to this day. They curve oddly at the knee, a quirk noticed by various coaches in middle and high school. But you know what? It’s subtle, and hasn’t been an issue. At all.

It just occurred to me that if Stella had needed a bit of leg straightening, even in this simple, relatively painless manner, I’d have been worried sick. Stomach tied in knots. All for nothing.

Stella’s foray with the feeding tube, and her eyeglasses and eye patch should be no different, really. I don’t mean to dismiss them, just to put them in perspective. I’ve let go of a lot of the anxiety surrounding them, but perhaps too much remains at times. It’s pointless, anyway. Counterproductive, even. She’s doing wonderfully.

There’s a huge lesson there. Hopefully it will sink in. This realization could help make 2011 a fabulous year.

P.S. Happy new year!


  1. olga · January 6, 2011

    keep in mind, too, that it’s even harder to strike a balance when your previous hunches have been right on — tiny things that you noticed were in fact, as suspected, indicators of a bigger issue. not easy, my friend, to let go with that sort of track record! but i have faith that your killer research instincts will keep you on the sanity path, helping separate the quirky-but-normal from the truly troubling.

    • amberhj · January 7, 2011

      thanks so much, Olga! that was incredibly validating to read. you’re right! shit hit the fan before, and peeps were blowing it off, and i was all, “look! there’s shit everywhere!” and so now when i smell something stinky, i look up at the fan and expect to see a crap storm. i’m a worrier anyway, as you know. thanks for the encouragement, you wonderful mama you.

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