A brighter day.

Okay. So we're 99% sure that Stella's change in eating habits is due to the pain of teething. I heard from Robin today and she reminded me that it will take months for us to really relax and not worry so much about how she eats. Stella is just fine. We are expecting a tooth… Continue reading A brighter day.

Please no.

Stella has been getting more and more difficult around eating again and I am starting to freak out about it. She is starting to refuse the bottle more and more. She doesn't want to eat upon waking up after sleeping for 10 to 11 hours. We now wait an hour after she wakes up, and… Continue reading Please no.

A freakout. A rant. And endless gratitude.

Early this afternoon, Stella got upset and took only 100 mls from the bottle. It was really weird. All my fears and worries came rushing back. Granted, she took around 180 before and after that. But what a scare. I was so upset, I yelled at Cody like a maniac. He was holding her because… Continue reading A freakout. A rant. And endless gratitude.

Toes company

Stella would be very happy if left naked and able to nibble on her toes all day long. That's right. Today, she finally, after many past efforts, put her foot in her mouth, and chomped on her big toe. And then she kept doing it. Over and over. She is talking more and more. Making… Continue reading Toes company

A “grand” day

Today, Stella enjoyed 1000 mls from the bottle. It's our family's equivalent of breaking the sound barrier, or walking on the moon. It's historic and worthy of endless news coverage. I just fed her. It's such a lovely, peaceful, fulfilling, loving experience--even if it's not breastfeeding anymore! We sit in the rocking chair next to… Continue reading A “grand” day

Days 22 through 25: Stella got her groove back

As Stella's occupational therapist put it, "Stella has internalized the joy of eating." Her feeding aversion is, well, history. A memory. Though not a distant memory, of course. We still get nervous if she goes for a long stretch without eating. We still watch her eating behavior like mama and papa hawks, and breathe a… Continue reading Days 22 through 25: Stella got her groove back

Days 18, 19 and 20: Stella turns a corner!

I love Christmas. A tree is a must, of course. In fact, a Christmas tree really has to be at least six feet tall for it to feel right to me. I've been collecting ornaments for years and love every one of them. Now that we live in a house, I wanted to decorate the porch with lights so… Continue reading Days 18, 19 and 20: Stella turns a corner!

Day 15: Ugh.

Today was tough. It's almost 11pm and her tally is 530mls. She is resisting the bottle. She'll act like she wants to eat, latch onto the bottle, then quickly pull away from it, and repeat that sequence several times until we give up. We have to honor her choice when she says, "no." She is… Continue reading Day 15: Ugh.

Day 14: Manic Monday

Stella has been free from the tube for two weeks as of today. Clearly, she's made fantastic progress. Yesterday, she showed us that she can do it. We now believe that it's just a matter of time before that level of intake becomes the norm for her. HOWEVER. Today was a bit of a struggle.… Continue reading Day 14: Manic Monday

Days 12 and 13: A big meltdown. A bigger milestone.

I am an incredibly emotional and sensitive person. After reflecting on this and how it relates to my new role, I said to my own mom, while she was here to offer desperately needed support for almost three weeks when Stella's tube was put in, "Motherhood will either break me, or make me incredibly strong."… Continue reading Days 12 and 13: A big meltdown. A bigger milestone.