Stella has been getting more and more difficult around eating again and I am starting to freak out about it.

She is starting to refuse the bottle more and more. She doesn’t want to eat upon waking up after sleeping for 10 to 11 hours. We now wait an hour after she wakes up, and even then she only takes 100 mls. Prior to this rough patch, she was taking 150-190 from all bottles. Spoon feeding is really challenging–it’s not her lack of interest that bothers me, it’s that she gets so upset when you offer it to her. She will take some if she holds the spoon, however.

I am really concerned. To be honest, I am feeling like I physically can’t continue to worry about and deal with the trials of this feeding issue. We’ve been through so much already! I feel such a sense of dread. It’s just so frustrating and draining and worrisome. I was so sure that she was on solid ground. Now the earth is crumbling beneath us.

I thought we were past all this.

I really hope that this is a fluke. Or that a tooth is coming in. Or something innocuous explains this behavior. Perhaps reflux is flaring up and we need to up her dosage. Maybe we need more cranial osteopathy sessions. I can’t wait to get on the phone with Robin, her occupational therapist, and talk about it. This is tearing me apart. My mind races with worry. I feel a bit sick to my stomach again.

Wish us luck…. thank you.